Zut! (wishes)
So, I'm sure most of you know zut! is the French equivalent of shoot! except that it feels better when you say zut! than when you say shoot! i think because it releases more frustration than shoot! with that z and t sound. I use it all the time and find it particularly appropriate now that I've just noticed that the post I posted a few days again does not exist. I wondered why no one was responding...
So now I will attempt to rewrite it. Rewrite, in this case, finally means exactly what it looks like. Write again. The same thing. Except that I probably won't be able to remember it. Zut! Bare with me.
So, so, so. Wishes. The post was about wishes. And how I'm wishing to have some scenes to show you very soon. And how I'm a bit stuck with characters because I can't visualize them as real people even though I can picture them in different settings talking about space and stars and music and aging cream. And I'm pretty sure the problem is that I have no idea what these characters wish for. And how I'm hoping, wishing, that you'll be able to help me with this.
Would you please pick one the characters I'm about to mention and imagine them somewhere (perhaps looking up at the stars, perhaps writing on the internet to someone they've never met, perhaps in their bedroom talking their best friend, etc.) where they can spill the beans about what they wish for... a long list of wishes. And then write that list of wishes as a monologue of wishes. A monologue that contains lots of details about the character. A monologue that is made up by you, of course. Or perhaps taken from your life or someone's you know. But write it as if you were the character -- using "I."
Here are some brief (okay, very brief) descriptions of the characters (all of them are around your age) -- A kid who plays the guitar and writes his/her own songs; that kid's sister, Jessie, who spends a lot of time sitting on her rooftop thinking; a girl with a telescope (or microscope) who's very into science; someone who has been in the hospital for a very long time; someone on a plane coming home from a very long trip; someone who spends way too much time on the internet; someone who loves to climb things; someone whose best friend is very far away. And anyone else that you imagine.
And the thing is --- these characters can be anywhere in the world (and possibly even in time) because I'm pretty sure that what connects them in this play is space rather than place. I have this weird idea that they all talk to the stars in different ways (meaning, not literally but more metaphorically) and that through the stars (don't ask how) they end up talking to each other and somewhere in the space between the stars, somewhere kind of like this blogger except that they can acutally see each other, they hang out and stuff. Galactic, I know.
Okay. Wish away.
posted by Joy @ 7:54 AM
23 Comments:
Okay. As an example, and because it's fun, I made a start at a wish monologue for Jessie on her rooftop --
I wish I didn't wish so much. I wish I could just sit here and look at these stars and not think about things that don't exist. Not think about all of the possibilities there are in life. All of the different ways it could go. I wish I could just sit. Just be. And not think about who I am or who I will be or might be. I wish I wish I wish I would stop saying those words I wish. Or better yet, that someone would, for once, say something back to me. Not sure who that would be. Just someone with an answer or two. Someone who could say -- 'yah, i hear ya,' or 'it'll never happen' or even someone who'd ask why I was wishing for things to begin with. That'd be cool. Gah. I wish I didn't wish for such stupid things. Why don't I wish for more practical things like for the motivation to write my stupid paper on (?subject?) or for my dad to bring home a pint of Haagen Daas Banana Split ice cream... mmmm... or for Anthony to (loudly to him inside) STOP PLAYING THE SAME DAMN SONG OVER AND OVER BECAUSE IT's MAKING ME INSANE. Cool. At least someone's listening. Gah. I don't know. I wish this blanket didn't have so many holes in it so it could actually keep me warm out here. Wait. I take that one back. These are good holes. These are holes with history. Leave the holes. So that someday, if any of a million wishes come true, I can sit out here under this blanket with someone else and they'll ask me why I have such a holey blanket and I can tell them how the holes got there and they'll be really interested and tell me to keep telling them stories because... I don't know. I don't want to put words in their mouth or anything. But I wish they'd say something really awesome. The kind of awesome thing that makes you blush on the inside because it's the nicest thing a person could have said to you right then. Yeah. That's what I'm wishing for. Erase all of the other ones. Just this one for me tonight. And the haagen daas wouldn't be so bad either...
I think I'll write as the character whose friend is very far away.
I wish that she was still here. Actually that's not true at all and I wish I could get things right the first time; I wish that I was there with her. Even that, though, doesn't matter to me much. I wish that we could be together again. I wish that I didn't have to wait to see her face and I really wish that she was thinking the same thing about me. I wish I could fill the hole that she's left in me and I wish that I wasn't so inclined to fill that hole with peanut M&Ms and whiskey. I wish my job payed more so that I could buy more peanut M&Ms and whiskey. Or maybe I could not buy M&Ms and whiksey and I could save the extra money to buy a plane ticket so I could fly out and see her. Mostly, though, I wish that I could do more than just wish for it all.
ooh! i love them both! wonderful.
alright, now mine.
i shall write as someone who spends too much time on the internet.
here goes ----
it feels like all anyone does around here is wish for stuff, you know? no one ever does anything. it's all "i wish i had more money" but they don't get a job. or "i wish so 'n so would be nicer to me" but they don't make an effort to be nice themselves. or " i wish my computer was faster"... well, alright i admit i'm guilty of that one. but that phrase has become a habit with most people. they wish for stuff that they'll probably never get, or they wish for something that they should never get. not every wish can come true. heck, i'll go further then that. the only wishes that do come true are those that should have happened anyway. i mean, if everyone got everything they wished for, every five year old girl would have a pony, and every middle aged man would be a billionaire. there's just no point in wishing for something, when fate has got something else planned for you. it just leaves you dissapointed. why risk it? there's just no point. (pause) although, i do wish (name) would e-mail me back...
i then forsee this character by the end warming up to the idea of wishing and then becoming a "wish junkie"
sorry for the anti-wish monologue.
Danny, I couldn't help reading yours and thinking of Sam and Noelle... did that cross your mind too? It sounds like there's more going on then friendship... at least on his part. I want to know more. The whiskey and m&ms are great details... but the hole must not be very big if it can be filled with m&ms... hah hah.
And Molly, I'm picturing your character as a guy. In a chatroom where people are talking about what they wish for -- maybe because of the line "that's all people do around here." How does that fit with what you were picturing? Could you add more details about this person and where there are at this moment? And maybe who/what they're talking to?
Very cool you guys. Now, I'm waiting for the rest of you. Feel free to write something different for the same characters or to add to what others have written.
alright. here's another... while i'm waiting for the rest of you to write, i'm writing away too -- trying to figure out these characters.
*
I’m really lucky I have a window. Most people in here don’t. I know because the building is shaped like a “U” and my room is on the very end of the U and so I can see most of the rest of the building and there really aren’t too many windows. Which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. You’d think hospitals would have the most windows. Especially since it’s been scientifically proven that sunshine and fresh air help heal people. Not that this window actually opens. It’s locked up and sealed tight to keep everything sterile, which is the thing I think I dislike most about this place. I wish there was some dirt in here, just a tiny little bit, on this windowsill, maybe. It’d be really helpful for when I put my elbows here like this – it’d keep them from sliding around like they do on this slick surface. Or maybe a dust bunny or two, over there in the corner behind the chair. Just to make it look like people actually live here, which they actually do. I’m sure there are people who wouldn’t consider this living. To them it’d probably be more like captivity or something. But it’s not so bad. I get to read and think and dream. I’ve been dreaming more than I ever did before. There aren’t too many distractions here. Actually, that’s a serious understatement. It’s deafeningly silent here. I know it seems like it should be loud. Like there would be babies crying and nurses running around with their white sneakers squeaking on the tile floors, but the only sounds I hear are the beeps of the monitor behind me and the gurgling of the sink across the hall. The only other things I hear are inside my head. And it can get pretty loud in there, but it doesn’t compare to the real thing. If I could open the window I’m sure I’d hear all sort of things. Birds chirping and cars starting and honking and whirring past with loud bass pumping out of open windows. Maybe I’d hear people laughing or yelling or singing. Or crying. Yeah, I’d probably hear a good deal of that around here. I’d take it with all the rest. Gladly.
But, the windows don’t open so it’s just a wasted thought. The sounds and the dirt can’t get in and the sickness can’t get out, which I suppose is what’s really important otherwise we’d have to make the whole world into one big hospital and that wouldn’t be any fun for anyone because then there wouldn’t be windows to look at and dream of opening, or being on the other side of. In that case I guess telescopes would take the place of windows... everyone would be looking out into space wishing they could hear the sounds of the stars instead of the incessant beeping of the Earth trying to heal itself...
The stars seem really close tonight. I love it when they look like that. Like if I could just open the window and stick out my arm, I could almost touch one. Don’t know what I’d do if I really could. Probably make a wish or something.
I know the obvious wish would be for the doctors to figure out what’s wrong with me so I could get better and get out of here and live a normal life, but that’s not what I’d wish for. Assuming I only had one wish, I wouldn’t want to waste it on something that’s going to go so quickly anyhow. I’d want to make it something that could last much longer than a person’s life and that could benefit lots and lots of people instead of just me. That way I wouldn’t have to enjoy it alone. I could enjoy it with many people and maybe through lots of people, even after I’ve died.
Not sure exactly what that wish would be. Maybe that the stars would always be close enough to touch? No. Then everyone would be making wishes all the time and the world would be a giant mess…
Hmm. This is going to take some thinking. Good thing I’ve got the time.
yeah, i pictured my character as a guy also. but refering to the line "that's all people do around here", when i wrote it i felt he was talking more about his family and friends. but i realise that this isn't very specific to the computer nerd character that he is. The chat room idea probably makes alot more sense. perhaps he could be writing on a computer and dictating his words aloud - to the chat room people. that's what i'm picturing right now.
I can see a bit of Sam and Noelle in there too. When I wrote the line "I really wish she was thinking the same about me" I was thinking that maybe there was more than friendship to him but maybe not to her.
It's true that it would take a lot of M&Ms to fill a hole but you'd be surprised how many M&Ms a person can eat in one sitting. Whiskey too, for that matter. Ha.
And I was thinking, how much of a sequel is this? Will it share some characters with Rain? A spin off? Or is it more like a thematic kind of similarity? Just curious.
Danny, I'm not sure yet how much of a sequel it is. I've been thinking of it mostly as a thematic sequel, but that's just how I have to start.
That you're here and writing about Sam, is presenting a good case for him to be in the next play, but we'll have to see.
Maybe there will be a thematic sequel, Stars, and then another sequel sequel since I still want to write a play with the title A Taste of Sunshine in December and I'd like to know what happened to those characters.... But I think that one will have to be on another blog. Or just back on the original Rain blog... with all of you Canadians invited there of course.
For now though, Stars. I'm really starting to picture some characters. I hope more people will write soon with more wishes....
So Im going to write for the character of Anthony(I think thats his name)...I think it would go something like this...he joins his sister one night on the roof to try and get a better look at the stars...
Hey Jess? ...Have you ever looked up and really thought about them? Like really tried to understand why they might be there or what they might actually be? It kills me. I wish I could just reach up and touch one. I don't know what good it would do, but...it seems like they have all the answers. Like they know exactly what comes next. Which in the same sense makes me furious. Like they just sit up there all smug like, while the rest of us struggle. I mean, take me for example, I can't for the life of me come up with a chord progression that really gives these things justice, and when I came up here to get a better look at exactly what I was writing about, they just sit there. Like they know there's no way to make someone hear stars. To actually have a song that, without lyrics, makes you think of the night sky. I wish there was a way to put them in my pocket, or better yet in a jar, so that I could carry them around wherever I went and just...understand. I would be the only one to actually get it. While everyone else was standing around scratching their heads, I would know. Because there's so many things in this world that I will never be able to wrap my mind around. Is it too much to ask to understand just one? There are so many artists that have tried to put them into song, and for some reason none of them really hit home for me y'know?(chuckles) Christ, you must think I'm the biggest space cadet this side of the equater huh?
Awesome. Thanks Nathan. I'm really starting to picture him and his longing to understand something greater. Who do you think are his favorite musicians? Does he have an ipod or is he a vinyl collector? Aside from trying to write this song that sounds like the stars (which you really captured i think), what does he really want right now? I'm trying to get the details of him so he looks real in my mind.
I like that he would talk to his sister like this -- so openly and poetically. I'm actually thinking that maybe their step-brother and step-sister and that they're really just getting to know each other after years of seeing each other every other weekend... or something like that. I don't know. But I like the idea that they could grow to be really close.
Hmmmm Thats a lot to think about. I think most of all he wants things to be simple. Which of course they are not. I think to make things seem simple he tries to think of things in a very basic way. Almost cynical. For that same reason I think that he would have no real value in money, and therefore would not buy cds. So the obvious alternative would be an ipod. Maybe one that his parent got for him.
As for his musical tastes, I've been listening to a band called PlayRadioPlay! and they really seems to mesh well with this character www.purevolume.com/playradioplay!
Listen to the song Madi Don't Leave. It seems to be this character in a nutshell.
I think that most of all he seems to want understanding. Some kind of sign that what he's doing isn't just a way to pass time untill he dies. He wants a way to leave a lasting impression on the world. And music seems to be the best way of doing so to him.
I hope that helps :D
Thanks, Nathan. It does help. Although I do have a question about his Ipod -- if he's not buying music, is he stealing it (downloading illegally)? What's the Candian viewpoint on that subject? Or just your viewpoint...
What if he finds old records in thrift stores? Or is that too old-fashioned for him?
I'll write about this person with a telescope.
People think I'm weird for looking into the sky while the sun's still shining. They tell me that it defeats the purpose of looking at starts while the sun is out. And if I'm not careful, the sun'll burn my eyeballs. And then there's the other people who think I'm being a pervert and not even aiming the lens at the sky. Whatever, it's not my problem. They don't get it. I can see the stars in the day. I watch them in the day because no one else can. I watch them because I can. I still study them at night. (Traces constellations in the air). There's Pegasus. And over there....(rattle off a few names in wonder). But only at night can you see start die. It sounds sad and it is. Because I've studied them for so long that I know them. Almost as friends. And it's like when a friend dies. But when they go, they leave something so beautiful that I can't help but feel happier. I can't help but be struck by the complexities of their entities swirling so far away. Something so far away that I can see at anytime of the day if I want to. But when they go, it's like they leave holes in the sky. And I wonder if they do. What happens when they implode and there's a black hole? Is that a hole in the sky that other bodies are enternally sucked into in order to try to fill. But can't. Because it's a hole that can't be healed. This hole can't disappear. And you know it's there. You feel it. You try to replace what was once there with other things, but all that hole does is suck it up and you still have a hole, gaping in it's darkness. So maybe all I'm trying to say is that now I'm trying to fill the holes in me with stars. And it's not helping that some of them are leaving holes in the sky that I can't possibly start to fill. And won't try to. And even the holes I have in me I can't fill. But no one is perfectly whole. Whole...hole...(chuckles and looks through the telescope with a small smile).
Sewei... this is so beautiful. I love the image of this girl looking at the sky during the daytime... I'll have to do a bit of research on that and find out what one can see with a telescope during the day, but very neat idea.
And I love, love, love the idea that she's trying to fill the holes in her with stars... and that she wants to fill the holes in the sky, possibly with herself.
Question for you to ponder... what do you think the holes in her are? And where do you think she goes to look at the stars?
Also, do you have any ideas for her name? I think one of the characters will have a star related name, but I haven't yet decided if it should be her (which would be the most obvious) or someone else, maybe even a guy. Your thoughts?
so.
i dont have a specific character in mind.
but the one thing i know about this character is that she feels trapped and whats to get out.
she wants more to life than what this place is offering her.
so here goes...
look at those stars.theyre amazing.i wonder what they would look like from somewhere else.what they would look like from say like.australia or germany or something.i wish i was anywhere in the world but here.i want to get out of here so bad.i just wish i could take off and leave.i want more than this.i want more than just field across from this house in this town in this country.i want more than all of this.because if i stay here itll kill me.i am more than this.and i need to do something about it.i know (blank) lohves it here. and sure theyve been here theyre whole lives. and maybe thats why s/he wants to stay here.but to me thats just so.so.crazy.i itch to be on the road.i cant stay in one spot so long.how can you live your whole life and live in the same house.the same town.and know the same people.how?it just doesnt make sense to me.i wish s/he would just see what the world has to offer.that theres so much more than this.and this.and this.i cant stand this.i need to get out.i want to get out.i ache to be free.this place confines me.it feels like that each month that passes the borders of this town close in on me.i just want to see the world.i want to go everywhere.i want to see what the andes look like.i want to backpack through europe.i want to chill out in a cafe in paris.i want to go to peru and see the ruins.i want to see stonehenge!!i want to scuba dive off of hawaii.i want to surf off of australia.i want to experience amsterdam.i want to live. i want to live so much more than i can if i stay here.i wish s/he would just understand.if i stay here ill be miserable.ill go crazy.ill die.i wish that i was anywhere else in the world.
Thanks, Lihz. I like this idea of a character who wants to get out. Maybe his/her favorite hang out is a field near the airport where they watch the planes take off into the stars.... I'm gettting the impression that the character doesn't leave because of a relationship... the obvious relationship would be romantic, but I'm wondering if we can come up with one that's less obvious. Do you have ideas? Maybe this character is somehow connected to the character in the hospital?
yea.thats why i left it as s/he because i couldnt decide whether i wanted it to be romantic or not.it could be just her best friend or something.and i dont know about the hospital character because to me it sounds as if they are trapped in theyre own way too.and therefore they would understand my characters feelings more and not want to keep them there.thats just my opinion though.
what if the difference is that the hospital character doesn't feel trapped? what if he/she feels rather content there? then your character would truly be the hospital character's opposite. and, maybe the hospital character is the reason why your character can't leave? or maybe it doesn't work so well...
ok.
so i have two conflicting opinions on that.
it would be a gooder if she doesnt leave because the hospital character is in the hospital.
i think that would make an interesting story.
but also.
the hospital character may not feel trapped.
but to my character i think she would see her as being so.
specially after reading her wish monologue.
and therefore be more understanding to them not wanting her to leave.
if that makes any sense.
Well he may be the kind of person that would buy the cd of a band that he really liked.
He might collect Records as a hobby. Though he kinda seems like a model builder to me. Anything complicated. Maybe a way of seeing every aspect of whatever he's building and understanding how they all fit together. I think that would comfort him in some way.
nathan, a model builder, huh? that's pretty cool. what kinds of models are his favorite? any to do with the sky?
and lihz, i think i get what you're saying and i'll certainly think about it. once it's written, you'll have to give me your opinions again.
Well I think he's gotta build model airplanes. At least it has to be one of the things he builds. I think he might be really interested in architecture as well. Anything to understand our world a little better.
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